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Monday, July 20, 2009

Magnas and Morons

I haven't written a new blog for a while now and spent some of the weekend wondering what interesting things I could write about. Oh no, don't tell me after 8 entries I'm already blank!

One of my closest friends, whose opinion I respect more than most, and I were talking about my blog on the weekend and she told me that I "HAVE to do a blog about your work!" Hmm, would that be of any interest to anyone? maybe, maybe not, but I would no-doubt-about-it have a great time writing it!!

So I guess all the planets aligned today, or some crap, because I find my self on Monday afternoon with the job of sorting out the "incident report" folder! Oh what a trip down memory lane that is!

OK, let me paint the picture first. I work in the office of an auto wreckers/scrap metal recyclers. Its a pretty good job, close to home, no weekends, fairly flexible, (mainly) good work mates, however we cater to low income people. Now don't get me wrong, I don't judge a book by its cover, and I also don't believe that having a few dollars in your pocket makes you more worthy than the guy with nothing, but the simple matter of the fact is that that is who my work caters for. Please understand that I'm not being discriminative at all, I in fact grew up in a housing commission house, we often relied on a church to feed us, but that's another blog altogether!

Backto the story at hand! The wrecking yard is a do it your self set up where you bring your tools, find the car your after and remove the parts. The recycling side is where we pay you for your old metal. We also impound derelict vehicles for around 10 local councils. So as you can imagine the wrecking yard brings the winners who try to stuff a friggen engine down their pants and then try walking out without being noticed, or the dick heads who will ring and ask for a twilight metallic blue left hand mirror for a 2009 BMW... Hello moron, it's a wrecking yard! or the ones that don't understand the concept of self serve and wont take no for an answer when asking me to check the "fourth falcon on the left" to see if it still has the water pump. First, its SELF SERVE, second, I don't know anything about cars, so no, I cant tell you if the water pumps there because I'm not walking that far for you, and even if I did, I wouldn't know what it looked like if it bit me on the bum! The recycling part brings the absolute perils of society, the losers who steal copper from train lines or school yards, make a living off stealing this crap and then refuse to give me their tax details coz they want bloody beer money! And of course, my favorite, the council lovlies. These are people who just choose not to obey the rules that the rest of us have to. If you own a car, you must not leave it unregistered on public property. Simple right? No, not to these people. It is to me! If your cars unregistered, leave it on your property. and if i have to pay over 5 hundred bucks every year for my registration, then so do you! I don't care if you just got out of jail or if your girlfriend cheated on you with your mums brother auntys dog, you bought the car, register it or have it on your property! sorry, hope I'm not boring you with my auto industry jargon!

So here's a few of my favorites that i have come across today: (FYI, I think this might be an ongoing post that I keep coming back to!) Ive decided to pick my top 3, otherwise we could be here for days!

A month or so back, Tom was in the sales hut and rather than giving a customer one $1 coin, he gave him 5 20 cent pieces (to try and get rid of the change). Well the customer hit the roof!screamed at Tom and demanded to see the manager. I was the first person to see him when he came over to the office, I listened to him complain about the 20 cent pieces for about 5 minutes, you would have sworn he was telling me a story about how the world was going to end in 3 days times, Thad's how concerned he was! Finally I couldn't take it any longer so I said "Its only 20 cent pieces mate, if that's going to ruin your day maybe you need to chill out a little" to this he SCREAMED at me "YOUR ONE OF THEM AREN'T YOU, YOU RE THE PROBLEM, NOT THE SOLUTION" and went on ranting about how I don't care about what he's saying, he would know a whole lot better than i do how to run a business etc etc. He finished his highly intelligent argument with "Why don't you just go and dye your hair and smile at your self in the mirror!" WTF?!!! where the hell did that come from?! I thought i was at work not at primary school and finally, you just did your argument wonders by stooping that low winner! Thanks, good bye, enjoy your 20 cent pieces!

Another one came when a vehicle was impounded by a council. We had endured a month or so of abusive phone calls from the owner. The vehicle was left out the front of the owners property, unregistered. The owner then couldn't understand why we'd "Steal" their car. So he turns up with his girlfriend, who, as you can imagine is the definition of class! they proceed to abuse me until finally Terry takes them to collect the belongings from their car. On the walk down the girl tells Terry that he is a c#$t, to which Terry replied "wow, are you all class or what, you must be proud" while looking in the boyfriend's direction! Of course this resulted in threats of punches and the works, but bizarrely actually finished with the guy and girl jumping all over their car and caving the roof in before running away - without their belongings! Once again, WTF?!

Its hard to find only 3!!

Most of our customers are after anything for free or a little cheaper, and will do anything to get it! They all like to make their own rules and only follow ours if it means they'll get something out of it, I am abused on a daily basis and can guarantee that I will have at least one persons solicitor threatening to take me to court per week(the fact that not a single case has made it to court helps me laugh in the faces of those threatening me!!) So one of my pet hates is when a customer wont take no for an answer! We have over 800 cars that people are constantly removing parts from, obviously it would be a logistical nightmare to individually list each vehicles parts, therefore we just can not physically tell a customer if a part is available - that's the whole idea of "self serve" and why we can offer low prices. Usually when I explain that to a customer they understand and come down and check for them selves, but often not, often I'll fight for 30 minutes about that how we work yadda yadda (off the point a little - I think I've used that "yadda yadda" phrase in every blog entry thus far!!) One day last week I had a guy from North Fitzroy unwilling to drive all this way (kilsyth) to see if the part is available and how disgusting I am for not checking for him. He proceeded to complain about me to the manager, then called back to have another go. I shut him up by asking him if he gets angry at KFC when they wont make him a fillet-o-fish? everybody wants more than they're given!

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