I never realised writting a blog would be so therapeutic! I left work on Friday night pumped! Strangely it was like a weight was lifted from my shoulders, kind of like the feeling after leaving a friend following a big D&M session.
Ready to face the world!
For as long as I can remember I've struggled with my confidence. My life has been a constant battle against my negative thoughts. Actually "battle" isn't the correct word because I never fought the negative thoughts, i let them beat me.
I wasted my teens and twenties believing the negatives And I'm determined not to let my 30's be the same.
The call to arms has sounded, I'm ready for the front line.
For too long the negativity has paralysed me, I've missed out on so much; a career, seeing new places, meeting new people, developing friendships. I have to get strong and fight these demons.
I have no idea how! or if its even possible but I know where I'm going to start.
Here! I'm going to write down my thoughts, rather than bottling them up. Positive thinking; I know its so cliche'! but it does work! I'm not talking about asking the universe to make me into a gorgeous super model (though I wouldn't object if it wants to!) But you would be amazed by the difference replacing something like "I'm, so tired, I cant be bothered" with 'I'm so energised and cant wait to see what this day brings" can make. The most exciting change I'm going to make came as inspiration from a work mate. She told me of a young woman who every day for a year took a photo of something that she appreciates. So each day I'm going to find something that I appreciate, for its beauty, or its usefulness or ability to make me laugh or whatever it may be.
I'm excited for the new me, well the improved version of me! I just hope I don't bore anyone along the way! (thoughts like that wont enter my mind soon - fingers crossed!!)
Hold on, its going to be a bumpy ride!
* I canged the name of my blog to Alis Volat Propris - its the latin translation of "she flies with her own wings" think I might get that tattooed!