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Thursday, July 9, 2009

Self doubt and yellow delight

"Life is not meant to be easy, my child; but take courage: it can also be delightful" George Bernard Shaw.

So so true!

I'm loving this blogging thing! Ive found some amazing and inspirational blogs lately. I'm on a personal mission of happiness and am over joyed to find so many people on the same journey as I am. (I love "gleeful" thank you for the fore mentioned quote!) Maybe, just maybe I'm not the freak I thought I was. Could I be normal?! nah! That's boring!

I am truly happier than when I started this blog less than a week ago! I'm seeing the silver lining in everything, and most importantly, I think, Ive realised that its the small things that really can turn your day around.

But I'm still struggling with confidence, I mean, I didn't think I'd magically be cured but I'm a little disappointed that I'm still doubting my self. I started this blog at the same time as a couple of other mates and constantly find my self wondering if my blog is stupid! Theirs are funny, clever and witty, not sad and personal like mine, should I be funnier? should I be less personal? I bet they get so many more visitors than I do! A reoccurring theme in my life - comparing my self to others!

Jandy, stop it! your writing this blog for YOU, not for the Guinness world record of the most visits to a blog! Besides, does the amount of people who read my opinions validate them? Nup! Do my opinions mean more if say 10 people read them, than if it was only me? nope!

I once visited a psychiatrist who asked me to choose my favorite colour. My favorite colour is Pink, but for some reason I told her yellow - it seemed more intellectual! She told me to think about how many different shades of yellow there are, is my favorite yellow the colour of the Sun, or an egg yolk, or the yellow of a cockatoos crest? You cant compare one yellow to another, there are so many different shades. But they are all called yellow. Just like people, you cant compare your self to others, there are so many different "shades" of people, but we are all humans!

Now I just have to make my self believe it!

I'm moving in the right direction, big thumbs up to me! lol!

3 comments:

  1. Too right lover! We all have insecurities! I generally hide mine under humour... funny that!

    I like the yellow comment... I've done that myself. Second guessed my reply to a question in order to say the right thing - well what I think it should be anyway. Your point is totally spot on! I think I'd be egg yolk yellow... or perhaps poo brown!

    Oh and your blog is fucken awesome! I love it!

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  2. Yeah, thumbs up to you! Your blog is wonderful and you have interesting stories to tell. And yes, we can't compare ourselves to others as each of us is unique. Nice post! :)

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  3. So proud of you lovely, and enjoy reading about how open and honest you are being about your life. You go girlfriend!!! I miss you so much, please lets lock in some catch up time, your little buddy Coops misses you!!!
    Love you Floss - to the moon and back

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Thank You XX