I'm sad, I'm disappointed, I'm embarrassed, I'm angry, I'm hurt, I'm lonely, I'm disappointing, I'm a failure, I'm worthless, I'm ugly, I'm a horrible person, I'm a looser, I'm a bitch, I cry myself to sleep every night, and put on my "happy face" every morning. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, reminds me of the good times and then every night I'm reminded of the bad times.
Everyone has their opinions, and luckily for me, the people that matter understand that there are 3 sides to every story. I think most of the people that matter to me understand that I need to do things my way (or our way) and can't be influenced by outside opinions. Though the person that I really need to see that, just doesn't.
My marriage is falling apart, If I'm honest with myself, it has fallen apart. It fell apart a while ago. I don't know if it can be repaired, but I do know that I would love to try and build a friendship with this person who I have spent almost half of my life with. I can't bare to look at life without him in it, but the way things are at the moment isn't normal, it isn't healthy for either of us, or the people who love us.
I hope I haven't offended anyone by posting this.