The lessons I learnt by spending a weekend on my own
I seriously need to lighten the eff up, I get anxiety over the smallest, most pathetic things, from car parking to almost crying because I can't get the key to work in Emmas door. Life isn't meant to be like that.
I'm sad. I thought I was coping quite well, but I'm not.
I need to get out an live my life. I spend at least one whole day of my weekend cleaning, doing book work, grocery shopping and what ever else. All that stuff will wait if I decided to spend a day at the beach, or a day on the couch, or whatever instead.
I need to become more independent, I need to learn to do things by myself. The only way it's ever going to get easier is by doing it.
Bec is too young to be the answer to my loneliness. No one is the answer to my loneliness except me.
I need to be more spontaneous. I'm so organised, and a list maker from way back. The night before I came home, I was even working out what the easiest way to drive home would be, and when I say easiest, I don't mean quickest, no I'm more likely to go the way with the least traffic, least right hand turns, least scary exit ramps etc etc even if it means an extra 2 hours on the road. OMG, stress much Jandy?!
Even when I'm alone, I still have a whole lot of support.
Basically, I'm far too highly strung, I've lost my fun, my spontaneity, I'm quick to forget that I'm never really alone - I'm always loved by someone.