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Thursday, May 19, 2011

Celebrating the begininng and the end

* While I'd love to be profound at the moment, my post are more like diary entries, I hope that doesn't make them hard to decipher. Sometimes though, I write this blog for me, not anyone else, so que serra serra I guess!

All day I have so much running through my head, I haven't slept more than a few hours any night since (under eye bags are the new black right?! If only!) One second this is the best decision I ever made (or was made for me, more to the point) the next I'd jump straight back in to Steves arms, if he'd want me, though I know what a huge step backwards that would be.

But last night I caught up with my girls and today I just somehow feel a tincy tiny bit better. We caught up at Ali's - she's just got back from her honeymoon, Me, Jill and Carls had a beautiful roast (with lots of veggies - my only request) and just caught up on Alis trip to Thailand (and the beginning of her marriage), I filled them in on the "details" of "the End". Carls is our athlete, she participates in Iron Mans, in other words, she's our hero (In a triathlon, she rides her bike for 180km's ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY! - Jill and I often joke that we wouldn't even drive that!!). The biggest goal for Iron Man is to race in Hawaii (tell me if I'm getting any of this wrong Carls!) and Carls has once again qualified, so she filled us in on her upcoming training camp. I'm beyond proud of her, GO CARLS! and Jill is the tradie/mum! I could sit for hours listening to her just talk about her day, it's such a different world we both live in, but I think that's what "keeps the spark alight".

On the way home I got to thinking about Sex and The City, the first movie, and how Carries girls whisk her away to Mexico to help mend her broken heart. Now, a whirlwind trip to Mexico with my support base would be amazing, but impractical, I seriously could not have asked my girls to step up more for me. I'm a complex character, and I think this must be hard for a lot of people around me - I tend to keep things to myself and become a bit of a recluse, and I avoid getting too detailed about this situation, but then I also have my times where I just need to vent, or pour my heart out. I can only imagine that having your close friend go through this would be hard, without the added difficulties of me being weird!

On a tangent - I don't think we really fit into any SATC stereotypes, I think we're a mixture of the Spice Girls and SATC!! haha! I'm probably a combo of Carrie, Charlotte and Baby Spice!

Anymanicanramble, as I was saying, last night was really great, exactly what the doctor ordered, I can't even
begin to thank EVERYONE who has made me feel even a little bit better, you honestly don't know what it means to me. Because it's impossible to ever truly show my gratitude, the only way I can show you a little bit of how thankful I am is to live the happiest most fulfilled life I can.

Thank you for helping me to see that.

My beautiful Nicole, who has been invaluable, wrote the sweetest, most heart wrenching, yet beautiful words in her blog today, about me. It's very interesting to see how other people see you. If I had a super hero power, it would be to read minds - I'm always curious about what people think of me. I'm honestly blown away by what she's written.

Now, I can't finish this post with out telling you what Ali bought me! It's a hamper (in a NY box!!!!!) full of things that she knows I love - Salt and Vinegar chips, Coke Zero, 3 gorgeous journals, hand cream, body wash and lotion, little lip glosses (I have a small collection of novelty lip glosses - flowers and cupcake shaped ones etc - Ali gave me a flower and a hand bag!), bigger lip glosses,  the cutest little hot water bottle for your hands, lots of chocolate and a beautiful card with words that I can't read without feeling amazingly lucky and the best of a all, a little cupcake money box with a few coins in it - the start of my savings - MY savings!

I feel like the words "thank you" just aren't enough.


3 comments:

  1. I'm glad you liked your lil NY Gift Box babe, anything to see a smile on your face, if only for a few minutes! You are doing so well babe, but NEVER forget, we are all just a phone call away....and there will be MANY more catch ups, dinners and laughs to come!! Love ya babe xxx

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  2. Nice! Not much more to say really. How lucky we are to have such fabulous, caring and generous friends in our lives! Beautiful!

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  3. awww, chicky. you are so lovely. I'm so proud of YOU, and how you're handling everything that your going through.
    love love carls xoxo

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Thank You XX