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Monday, October 17, 2011

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hey, i’ve got an idea; let’s begin this post with apologies for being a poor blogger, yadda yadda, a little like this post, oh, and this!

life got in the way of blogging, simple as that.

i moved out of my home of almost 12 years, the place where i was me, where i could wear my old trackies and no makeup, lie on the couch, watch the sun set over the dandenongs and feel the most comfortable i ever have. into my much smaller, neglected, old family home. each time i drove away from the new house i thought “it’s got potential, i can make it work” i’d drive back in the driveway and as i opened the front door, all that potential swept out of it as fast as it could, replaced with pure ugly and filth.

the brown stripped wall paper, or the 60’s bathroom vanity and red tiled toilet were bad enough but i couldn’t even utter the word “potential” when i saw the toilet. the nicotine stained walls almost had me assigned to a mental asylum. don’t even talk to me about the lack of mobile phone service or internet connection.

my amazing, priceless, fantastic, wonderful, awesome, beautiful, one in a million, life saving mumma came over and cleaned the toilet and bathroom while i scrubbed the quit smoking advertisements from my walls, but i still couldn’t bear to touch the screen while showering or stepping on the floor without shoes on. so, once again with the help of life saving mumma, i spent $520 on a professional cleaner.

now my house is old and i still have red tiles on the toilet floor, a 60’s vanity and brown stripped wall paper in the entrance, but that’s liveable. someone else’s filth – not so much. i’m waiting for (insert appropriate word here) telstra to get back to me regarding my internet and phone, but while i hold my breath for them to call, i can sms, and type my blog posts up in word, publish them at work. liveable.

a couple of weeks ago, i had a reality check on my princess attitude. a person very close to my heart went through something no one would wish upon their worst enemy. here i was, in a house, which, yeah, wasn’t exactly my choice, but it’s a house with low rent, where all my pets could come with me, close to family, friends and work. sure, it wasn’t my home in the bush, but it was a roof over my head, and a clean one at that. life wasn’t quite so bad.

my attitude has done a complete 180 degree turn. i’ve put my stamp on this little house; my world map with “been there” stickers, some new cushions, a few decorations, a comfy new bed, my la lakers flag with hard rock cafe pins from around the word, some tibetan prayer flags and a stripped tea pot. this place is more organised than home ever was and the animals seem to have made themselves at home. who knows, maybe i’ll call it home soon too.

part of my attitude change has to also be put down to my think beautiful mission. if you haven’t checked out think beautiful yet, do it now! karly asked me to be the think beautiful guinea pig. each month i’m assigned a mission. my first mission was to say an affirmation 3 times each morning; “i am a perfect creation of love. i am deserving of love and happiness and i am open and willing to receive. i love you”.

you’ll of course have to check out my post on think beautiful in a week or so to read all about it, but, a bit of a spoiler, i honestly think i can attribute it to my change in attitude.

life’s a roller coaster and each day i find myself dealing with a myriad of emotions and the past week had me feeling so overwhelmed i contemplated seeing a doctor. then i took an extra half day from work to make a 3 day weekend and made this house more organised, had my hair done, caught up with a friend, and book work, washed the car, filled the fridge and panty, attempted to make some doughnuts (epic fail) and finally had a few minutes to sit with a cuppa and my laptop to type up a post.

i feel like a new person.

watch out world, all i need now is a massage and i’ll be ready to take you on like never before

1 comment:

Thank You XX