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Thursday, December 29, 2011

merry christmas, happy new year, good bye

merry christmas! and happy new year!

and good bye!

it has been a huge year. a year full of change and upheaval, soul searching and contemplation.

it's been hard. it's been educational and life changing, challenging yet rewarding, but it's been damn hard and i'd never ever want to endure this year again, i wouldn't want my worst enemy to endure it.

i'm broken and disappointed. i'm angry.

i wish i could get an "intelligence filter" and only have people with some sort of level of maturity be able to read my posts.

the post i wrote about ugly insecurities, and it's subsequent comments made me realise that i cant make those with less maturity, those without the ability to take in what i write, those with a "quick to jump to conclusions" attitude, or even worse, those on the path of gossip and water cooler conversation, understand what i'm trying to say, it's not my job to educate them.

my own wings got out of hand, too many people that know me personally read it, too many people have opinions on what i should or shouldn't write, and that has made me bitter.

it's made me wonder too if perhaps i should have a better look at the people i surround my self with in 2012.

i have a right to put my opinions on my blog, i am sick and tired of feeling the need to censor, to write about unicorns and rainbows when i want to tell the world to fuck off. i am just so sick of feeling unworthy and judged.

but boy-oh-boy, do i love to write.

and, dear anonymous commenter, this isn't 1984 and i'm not marcia brady, a padlocked diary kept under my bed will not suffice, and therefore i'm starting a new blog, a new start and finishing up "my own wings".

time for a fresh start, and some privacy, so for now, i'm going to keep my other blog address private.... but if you're a clever little detective, you'll find it, and sooner or later, i'll probably come back here and tell you the address one day.

until that day, thank you for coming by and reading my verbal vomit, sharing my highs and lows. i'll still be writing for think beautiful every week, lurking around facebook, checking my emails and stalking your blogs, so don't be a stranger.

thanks again, jandy

3 comments:

  1. Well I can totally relate on feeling like you have to censor yourself. I think the people who say that to a person are the ones who feel most ashamed of something in their own life and your being open and vocal about your struggles... scares the shit out of them. :)

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  2. I totally relate. Blogging lost all interest to me after some dumb arse comments posted. It just wasn't fun anymore

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  3. yup, agree with both of you.... but you know what? you two are THE MOST HONEST bloggers out there and thats why i read every post you write.... if i like youre honesty whats to say my honesty isn't appreciated too.... it's true what you say about people feeling ashamed or embarassed and thats the reason they comment, but i just hate that i feel the need to justify or disect those pathetic comments! so i think the answer is a less know blog, where i can be me and be honest... obvs i'll send you both the address.... love you both and youre both truely blogging inspiration to me xx

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Thank You XX