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Thursday, March 1, 2012

im here

well, here i am.

i'm in bali, i made it trough the airport, got my transfers, checked in, went for a walk, had some dinner, slept, had some breakfast and worked out the free wifi all.by.myself.

it's so surreal being here, i'm very emotional (coz i really needed to get my period today to add to the emotions!) i'm lonely, though i don't know why, i spend a great deal of time alone at home. but there, i guess i have a fall back and can spend time with people i know if i want to. plus i always have my babies with me. this could have been so much easier if i could take my dog. ive seriously contemplated taking a stray cat into my room to force it to be my friend!

it's really hot, which is good because i plan to spend the rest of my time in kuta relaxing by the pool - which, by the way, is a roof top pool over looking kuta beach - pretty spectacular!

the lovers holding hands are breaking me a little. i spent my honeymoon here and it was beautiful. theres a lot of emotions from my marriage being stirred. shoulda coulda woulda.

i've never wanted someone to hold my hand so much.

i'm enjoying the free time and not having to be at work. but already i can see that this is going to show me that what i have despised for so long is actually what holds me together. the whole nine to five monday to friday thing, i'm actually craving it a little. i think going up to ubud will be good in that sense, give me something to do, a routine.

i just need to pull my socks up, enjoy and savour this, get out and explore. i can only imagine what everyones thinking about the pale little australian girl whose eyes are constantly filled with tears.

1 comment:

  1. Just embrace it Jands. You are not lonely... you are simply ALONE... really Alone. The best thing about doing this is you will make friends with yourself. I will drop you an email once you have settled and see if I can pop over for a weekend to see you. Hugs.

    Cara

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