every new years i say "good bye shit year, next year is going to be MY year" and then the following year is inevitably just as shit as the one before.
this year wasn't like that. this year was my year, i hope the first of many!
it was a year full of lessons, struggles, triumphs, friendships, love, tears, laughter, new challenges, travel, ends and beginnings.
it was the year that i came into my own, learnt so much about who i am and did so much work to fix myself. i have work to do still, but i can finally say that i'm proud of the person i have become. i'm not yet comfortable with who i am on the outside, but i am getting more and more comfortable with who i am on the inside.
it was the year that i developed a strength unlike ever before. a strength in knowing who i am, and being happy with that person, a strength to not hide that person when i met new people. a strength to not let my past define me but rather teach me and help me grow. a strength to realise that sometimes people do horrible things to others, but those on the receiving end need not be ashamed, need not change because that person sees you as unworthy - i learnt that if you're happy with yourself then that's all that matters.
i gained this strength through listening to myself, learning what i liked and what made me happy, learning what i needed, learning my boundaries and setting them in place, learning that solitude, music, learning and creativity are absolute necessities in my life and i should never apologise for that. just as close family and friends are porprtionately as necessary for my well being.
this strength helped me experience wonderful things this year, things that were equally as confronting and scary as they were wonderful. like completing my tefl course with i to i and my volunteer course with ames, travelling to bali alone, overcoming a breakdown, flying a plane, sky diving, becoming a volunteer, teaching english and making a wonderful new friend who teaches me more than i could ever teach her, spending time with my favorite people in new york and california and of course, finding happiness in a normal relationship where give and take is on par, life doesn't seem so stressful and serious, where i'm sharing my life with some one who treats me the way i deserve to be treated.
it was also a year where this little blog grew it's readership and i was given opportunities to write in different forums (think beautiful and storylane), i received some amazing feedback and was complimented on my honesty.
you've all been a part of this wonderful, crazy ride, so i wont go on too much, instead i wanted to simply say THANK YOU!
these are a few of my favorite posts from this year;
my own wings
the kind of woman i want to be
this is growing
bali (there are two weeks worth, this is the first post)
a year on
rj hammer arboretum
on living alone
my big confronting awesome weekend
my two cents on judgement - is that an oxymoron?
happy 60th birthday daddy
another first checked off
real life awesome - carla lawson, ariel henley, karly nimmo, and jo dibsdale
nanny and dindans house
life and stuff
the little things
i hope you'll all keep visiting here in 2013, and i hope that it's a year where i can share more happiness than ever before. thanks again xx